Tonight I had the TV on VH1 as usual, and "Hogan Knows Best" was on. I wasn't really watching the show, since I was busy building a cat house, but I couldn't help but notice Linda Hogan's necklace on the show. Take a look, please:
I'm not sure if it's a necklace or if it's part of her top, but still, look at the size of that thing!
I remember thinking while I was watching her: "I will never wear anything so incredibly big around my neck". But I wasn't saying it with disgust, there was actually a bit of disappointment in my thought.
Disappointment because I know that, unless something incredibly wild happens in my life, I will never be in a situation where wearing such a necklace would be appropriate, required or even physically possible.
More precisely, one of two things would have to happen:
a.) if when I am 45 years old my petite figure will transform into a 5'8" frame that can accommodate the width of that necklace.
b.) if I get engaged with the Grand Duke Guillaume of Luxembourg and it's customary that on the engagement party I wear the family jewels which include this beautiful necklace adorned with big 20 carats diamonds and precious stones.
But I also thought about the fact that if these miracles were to happen, and I would get to wear a very big necklace, would I be comfortable? Of course not.
I like small, one string, delicate and pretty necklaces. I don't want anybody to be able to see my necklace before they can see me. I want my necklace to complement my look, not to be "the look".
So why would Linda want to wear something so big? I think that a big necklace it's probably a cry for attention. While a thin gold string necklace says "I'm wearing this for me" and a strand of pearls is pure elegance, a thick and colorful and shiny necklace screams "look at me! look at me!".
If you are not convinced yet, take a look at this other picture:
Here is Britney on the cover of a magazine. With a huge necklace. She is naked and pregnant. Talk about trying too hard.
And here is Victoria, back when the last 4 muscles in her face were still not paralyzed, yet (I swear I can almost see her smile).
And even though her necklaces are not as big as the previous ones we've seen, and she almost could have fooled us into thinking that she is not seeking anybody's attention, poor little Victoria betrayed herself as soon as she wore the second necklace without taking off the first one. Oops.