February 3, 2011

Dear Christina Hendricks, I want to be your Personal Stylist!

I think Christina Hendricks is one of the most beautiful women to grace the red carpet these days. But I also think she is one of the worst dressed celebrities out there.  :(

How can someone so beautiful end up looking always less than fabulous is beyond me.

I understand she is a very curvy woman, but that never stopped women like Marilyn Monroe and Sofia Loren from looking absolutely stunning! Every time!

So what are your reasons, Christina? Why do you always leave me wanting more? Why do you almost get an outfit right and then you mess it up with the wrong hairstyle? Why???

Is it you or is it a stylist? If it's you, then let it go, you're an actress, not a fashionista, let the expert to their job (my email is at the top right of this page)!

If you have a stylist helping you, then fire her (my email, again, is up and to the right)!

But let me present my case with some pictures:

This horrible blue goddess ensemble! First of all, why do you need to show half your boobs all the time? You are famous enough where you don't need to do that anymore. Second, your makeup is very ghastly wrong. Third, you have very pretty hair, don't hide it. On the other hand, you have a biggish forehead (nothing wrong with that, it's a sign of intelligence!) that can use some hiding. Always wear your hair in front of your forehead, with traditional or side-swept bangs. Fourth, you are curvy and matronly, but you don't need to dress as such.

The lavender disaster: I am sure having red hair poses a bit of a problem in choosing the colors to wear, but don't fall in the rut that you can only wear purple, and jewel toned colors. While this dress could have worked, it didn't. Again, maybe if you showed less skin, you wouldn't look too pale. This dress would have been better with an alter top and without the fringes.

Harsh, harsh black!

Having such pale skin, doesn't mean you can't wear black, but you need to be more selective on what kind of fabric you choose!

This dress looks like a blanket on top of you.

Like a robe.

It overwhelms you.

You can do a lot better in black than this.

This dress pretty much sums up what I've been writing so far.

You need help!

This recent occasion has you looking better than usual, especially the hair, even though I'm not sure if I like the dress.

See, on one hand I prefer it to all the other ones above, but I also think it blends a little too much with your skin, and not in a flattering way.

Plus, it reminds me of a wedding cake.

Even the perfect dress from the first picture on this post loses its perfection with the wrong hair...

Didn't you have enough ruffles? Why the added ruffles in your hair to clash with the dress???

You should have worn your hair in a nice bun with some side-swept bangs! Almost like you have it in Mad Men.

I mean, even Johnny Depp thinks there is something wrong... just look at the way he is looking at you!

No woman should ever have Johnny Depp looking at her like that!

Christina, you get a lot of misses and some hits, so try to learn and remember what has worked in the past and what has not.

See, I have my own issues with fashion and what to wear every day, but I am a 5'2" non-actress, non-curvy, non-stunning, non-red carpet mingler, non-celebrity person.

But you! It should be soooo easy for you!

And please understand that I didn't mean to bash you with this article, I love you! Just read all my Mad Men posts in here!

Anyway, I will work for nothing compared to what they charge in Hollywood (hello Ms. Zoe!), and make you look like what you were born to look like. Call me!


Soos said...

"I mean, even Johnny Depp thinks there is something wrong... just look at the way he is looking at you!"


Here are the positives about that red dress:
1) Her boobs are covered! I can style, too - just cut off that ruffle and make it strapless
2) The color is wonderful, a great contrast to her paleness

That blue is a great color for her, too. Now, if only her chest wasn't up to her chin!

I don't watch TV, I'm sure she's a good actress. She sure can look very different depending on her makeup, hair and clothes.

And NO, Spender and I are NOT bashing. We are trying to HELP!

NY Spender said...

Thank you Soos, if she hires me I can pick you as my assistant! ;)

Daisy said...

She's very pretty, and refreshingly voluptuous. The red gown, well, it's a bit too much. The goodess blue gown would have been fine minus the huge flower. As for showing her God given assets - I bet the male audience does not mind. She's eye catching enough, simplify the gowns.