Wedding Planning: The Dress Part II

I have been looking at wedding dresses online for a month now. Two weeks ago I decided to go for a first real-life look at these dresses, because I knew that there was no way I could pick a dress online, I needed to try it on first.

The first place I knew I was going to look at was David's Bridal, and while I didn't have great expectations I tried to go in with an open mind. I went with a friend and we both were a bit skeptic, but there is something about a huge space full of wedding dresses that makes you forget about your prejudices and lets the mind dream on.

Since the lady that was supposed to help me was not available yet, we started browsing around, and those were some very overwhelming 10 minutes!

Aisles and aisles of big white dresses, in all different sizes, most of them very beautiful. Funny thing is I was looking at price tags and not once I saw a $99 wedding gown! So I started looking for the $99 aisle, but again, no luck. These dresses were $699 and $1,299 and $899 and $1,099! I couldn't even find a $399 dress (Not that I was looking for one, but I've always heard about the $99 gowns from David's so I was just surprised that I couldn't find anything less than $500)!

I was finally put out of my misery and was directed to sit down and browse through the catalog and I was asked to pick anything that I wanted to try on. Oh yes, that I could do!

So with some help from my friend we picked out a few gowns based on what I thought would look good on me.

These are the dresses I first tried on:

I wanted to try this dress on because of the alter top. I had a feeling that there was no way I could pull a strapless top or that it was going to be uncomfortable, so I kept looking for straps of some kind. This dress was gorgeous! But it didn't feel right.  :(  I think one of the reasons why it didn't look good on me it was the color, not white, but ivory/beige. It seems that white is not the most wanted color as there are just as much if not more champagne and ivory dresses.

The sales person then wanted to prove to me that I could handle the strapless (every woman thinks she can't and then most women buy a strapless... he told me) so he brought me this dress:

And you know what? He was right! I could totally handle the strapless! The thing was so stiff and tight that it wouldn't budge! But, surprisingly so, it wasn't uncomfortable, and it was so beautiful the way it held up and made my waist look much smaller that it actually was. What I found uncomfortable, instead, was the skirt: it felt like I had a big queen-sized down comforter tied around my waist and now I was supposed to walk around in it!

So right away I learned two things: 1) I could do strapless  2) I didn't like big skirts

So the next dress was picked:

While this dress left everybody breathless, me included, there was still something missing. I was still looking for that dress that would feel just right, you know?

This one did feel great, but at the end we all decided that it was too much Hollywood for me (I felt like Marilyn Monroe!)  ;)

And finally, this is another big winner, at least because of the way it looked on me. It really looked nice! Which goes to prove the point that you have to try these dresses on, you can't just pick one based on what you "think" might look good on you. I would have not picked this one out of the catalog as a winner, but once I tried it on, it just made me shine!  :)

Of course, I didn't buy a dress on that day. I want to go for a second round of trying and I already have a list of dresses I want to try on. But I've learned a few things:

A) I can totally buy a David's Bridal dress. I thought I wasn't going to find anything I liked, but the exact opposite happened: I liked them all!

B) The money I want to spend on my dress is actually less than what I originally planned for: less than $600 would be ideal. And at this price range, David is the only one that can help me.  ;)

C) Big wedding gowns are a pain in the butt! I don't think I have the patience to drag a big dress around all day and pretend I'm comfortable.

D) I can go back and delete from my computer most of the "designer dresses" I've been bookmarking like this one from Pronovias because I would hate the skirt:

This one from Maggie Sotero because David's Bridal has one very similar to it:

And this Priscilla of Boston is being deleted because I am not going to spend $4,000 on this dress:

I also wanted to thank all the people that emailed me privately with suggestions on how to find a nice dress at a better price, and introduced me to the idea of consignment stores for wedding dresses, like www.encorebridal.com where you can buy used-only-once wedding dresses from all the big designer names. While this is a great idea on paper, a used dress from encorebridal on average still costs 3 times more than a new dress from David's Bridal.

So I decided that David's could be the right place for me. Their dresses are beautiful and they are affordable so everybody wins!

The only problem with frugality is that, sometimes, it can get out of hand... and so you try to spend less and less even when you are already spending so little.

What am I talking about? About me going on eBay to see if they have the David's Bridal dresses there for even less! And they do!

They have plenty of wedding dresses on eBay, and if you know the style and size you want, you could probably find something there at a bargain.

But since I think I'm getting some form of ADD (attention deficit disorder) or something even worse, like WMTO (wasting my time online), I now go to eBay to check on wedding dresses, but I mostly focus on the reason why these brides are selling their NEW dress (I guess I'm trying to learn from their mistakes)! These are some of the reasons:

* Plans changed on our wedding and I ended up purchasing a different dress that I wore instead (I'm not sure how plans changes affect the dress...)

* Never worn, new with tags from Neiman Marcus Paid $3100, will take $1200 or best offer. (No explanation on this one, it must have been painful!)

* This is my size 8 wedding dress, never worn. I bought it too small as a final sale and didn't quite make my goal! (How much weight do you think you can lose??? The groom won't recognize you!)

* This was my backup dress in case my other dress didn't fit, but it did. (This one lost the weight successfully)

* Never Worn-Cancelled Wedding (Brutal honesty)

There are a lot of cancelled plans  :(  but also a lot of women buying dresses two at a time! Nuts!

Anyway, I think eBay has a lot to offer to anybody looking for an affordable wedding dress, and there are many companies ready to custom make you a dress for less than $200!

Something to think about...

The Most Difficult Eyes for Makeup!

Everybody talks about blue eyes and brown eyes. I have black eyes.

And while scientists would argue with me that I have dark brown eyes, I would argue back that they look and feel very black to me! Even on a sunny day, with the sun shining directly on them, they don't get any lighter.

And I am ok with that.

The problem is that I also have very light skin which means, I look nothing like Eva Longoria here.

(I believe dark eyes look better on dark skin than they do on light skin.)

So we're talking more Anne Hathaway than Eva Longoria.

But even so.

That's not the whole story for me.

If I just had dark eyes and light skin, I would know what to do with makeup.

Unfortunately, there is one more variable in this equation that are my eyes: they have no crease!

Dark eyes, light skin, no crease... first thing that jumps to your mind?

Asian eyes. Right?

Wrong.

Well, most Asian eyes have no crease, but at least they have a nice flat area to play with, and to create the illusion of a crease if they wish to do so.

Plus, they point upwards and are great for a cat eye makeup.

While my eyes have no crease, they are not really comparable to Asian ones, because they have no flat surface nor do they point upwards. They are more heavy lidded.

So what kind of eyes do I have???

Well, the closest celebrity I can think of, unfortunately, is...

Tori Spelling!

Ouch! I know...

But what can I do?

I was born with these eyes and my quest of finding the right eye makeup is never ending.

But I don't give up easy, and I'm actually thinking of sharing with you some of my success (and disaster) stories, to help out other dark eyes/light skin/heavy lidded girls out there.

Unless Tori and I are the only ones...

Buy Your Swimsuits Now!

In the past few years, for some reason, I always get to Summer unprepared. Let me explain better: Summer gets here and I never have a bathing suit I want to wear.

If you would look at my bathing suit collection you would not think it belongs to me. I look at it and wonder what is wrong with me for buying certain stuff...

I guess since the departure of my fine stomach abs I've never really cared anymore. And then after having a baby... even worse!

So I'm technically stuck with the following:

A very cool one piece in lavender and hot pink, with cutouts, and that ends in shorts.
What is the problem with this? It's from 1992. Seriously. I bought it when I still lived in Italy and it's a bathing suit I can't throw out. I'm too sentimental. Except I think we are at the point where it's not appropriate for me to wear anymore. I think I will save it away with my size 0 jeans from my 20s. Memories, that's all they can be at this point.

Next bathing suit: A one piece black Calvin Klein with halter straps.
On paper this one sounds good, but when I wear it I feel 65 (years not degrees). I'm not sure why, I bought it right before memorial day last year and I took it to our beach vacation, but it just doesn't feel right.

Last bathing suit: A brown (!) one piece with yellow (!) flowers.
OMG! This bathing suit is ugly! Ok, the bathing suit is not too ugly but it looks very ugly on me. The colors are just soooo wrong for me I can't even look at the pictures I have with it on! I bought it last summer WHILE on vacation, because I didn't want to always wear my uncomfortable black Calvin Klein piece, so I went to Target and bought another uncomfortable bathing suit.

Something needs to change here!

The way I see it, I did two things wrong: I didn't prepare early enough and I settled.

For the black Calvin Klein I did go early enough, but I made the mistake of buying something even if I wasn't crazy about anything at the store.

For the brown target one, I made the mistake of shopping while on vacation, and of being desperate in finding one.

Since it's still January I think this is the best time to start shopping for a new bathing suit. And one of the first places I've seen things I like is Victoria's Secret. Just go to their SWIM section and start browsing, don't wait, really!

They don't have a lot of one pieces, but some of them are perfect:

which I also love in pink

The only issue I have with all of these guys is that they cost around $140, and I will probably wear them 4 times in a year... But I guess I will have to bite the bullet and buy one.

I also love this look, but I will need 6 months of exercise boot camp, some plastic surgery and a fake tan, before I would even consider buying it  ;)

Next, I want something to cover up in style (the beach towel wrapped around your body is a look for teenagers), and VS has beautiful cover-ups:

We can't forget the shoes

and why not?

One more thing

Ok, now I'm ready for the beach (well, at least I have the clothes...)

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6RSBH7S2UWVD

Wedding Planning: The Wedding Invitations

I know, I know, I can't talk about anything else anymore... but how can I? After figuring out that no matter how small and simple the wedding, you still have to go through a 3 miles long checklist!

I keep dipping my toes everywhere, the dress, the restaurant, the ring (I forgot the rings on my draft plan!), the invitations, the color scheme, the bridesmaids... but now it's time to dig deeper into each topic, if I ever want to get anywhere with this wedding!

But first let me tell you about one website that is helping a lot: the knot! There are, of course, a couple of similar websites, like the wedding channel.com, but it's best to stick with one, otherwise you'll go crazy. I picked the knot for the simple fact that it's first on Google if you search "wedding", and I have to say that it's helping a lot without overwhelming me too much (it has given me a checklist with like 130 things to do before the magical day!)

So let's start with something that I am almost ready to decide on: the Invitations!

I must have looked at 1,000 different invitations! From several different websites, like storkie.com, invitationsbydawn.com, invitationsbydavidsbridal.com, and the one I've found better that the others theamericanwedding.com.

One of the reasons I'm sharing all of this with you, it's also because I value your opinion, and it helps to see things from a different perspective instead of only mine, so I want to show you the invitation finalists and maybe you can help me pick the "one". Ok? Let's start:

25 for $148

25 for $124

25 for $116

25 for $114

25 for $107

25 for $89

25 for $89

25 for $50

That's it. These are all the options to pick from. I think I have a favorite, but let's see what you think.  :)

And I'm under my $200 budget for it! Yay!

ps. In all this planning I've realized I'm freakishly traditional when it comes to this wedding.

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Wedding Planning: The Draft Plan

One of the main goals I have for this wedding is to keep its costs very conservative. And by that I mean it shouldn't cost more than ten thousand dollars (and that's a big number).

I understand that to some people that number doesn't begin to cover the dress, but I am not one of those people.

I am, before anything else, a mother.

And since becoming a mother, spending money on myself has lost a lot of the appeal that it used to have. Now instead, I love spending money on my baby! I find I get a lot more satisfaction (and happiness) from buying some crayons that I know she loves, than buying, say, makeup for myself. So I can't justify spending sooo much money that could be saved for her college fund, and for anything else she might need.

With that said, I don't mean to knock down anybody that wants to have a lavish wedding; if I had tons of money I would have a nice beach wedding in Hawaii and fly everyone there on my private jet. But, since we are still nowhere close to rich (and I don't believe in going into debt because of a wedding), we will probably have the wedding here in New York, probably somewhere in Staten Island or anywhere I can find some sand and "cleanish" ocean water...

So this is the part where I make you laugh, by showing you some tentative numbers, and for all of you that have been there before, feel free to chime in and let me know if I am being unrealistic.

Dress: anywhere from $200 to $1,000.
(Worse comes to worse: David's Bridal)

Flower Girl Dress  :) $200

Restaurant Reception: $3,000
(No idea where yet, we might end up at TGIF  ;)

Cake: $500
(If they want more, I'll bake it myself)

Flowers: $1,000

Photographer: $1,000
(Or some friends that can use a camera)

Invitation Cards: $200
(I only need like 20)

Favors: $200
(Not sure about this one... I hate useless favors)

Total: $7,000 or so.

I'm leaving room for extras (hairdresser, shoes, tuxedo for him... and other things I am not aware of right now), but I'm planning on going as low as I can on everything.

Another piece of info I forgot to share on my last post was that I know a seamstress that has offered to sew the dress for me, but I haven't had the chance to sit down and talk money with her yet. I'll need to have some pictures to show her before she can give me a price, of course.

Also there will be no more than 30 people, so... not many cards, not many favors and most importantly, not much food!

I actually think it could even cost less than that... yes, this is another reason why I am going to share all of the details and costs with you, to prove a point: you can have a nice wedding without having to spend top dollars - and it'll be like all of you are going to be part of it as well.  :)

And now, I have to find a way to look good in about 6 months! I need diet, exercise and extensions!!! ;P
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Wedding Planning: The Dress

Yes, this should be the easiest decision: I'd like a long white dress. Except they make a million long white dresses and when I start looking at one and then at the next one and at the next one I spend (waste) 3 hours on the computer!

I still have not found it. They say once you see it, or try it on, you'll know it.

I've only been looking online, I have not been to any "bridal store" yet, and the only one that comes to mind is David's Bridal where you can find dresses for $99. But do I want a $99 dress? And who is this David person?

By the way, this is one of their dresses that I kind of like (i'm not crazy about it, though):

I much prefer dresses by this Maggie Sottero, and I apologize for knowing nothing about this brand, but I have a feeling these dresses must be expensive (a first hint comes from the fact that they don't list prices):

But considering the fact that I would like to get married by the beach, big pompous dresses are not advisable, so I should also be looking into something simpler like this one:

As you can see, I'm still all over the place, but it's ok, for some reason I am so not worried about it, and I'm sure I'm never going to be like one of those crazy Bridezillas that go nuts planning their wedding day.

Hey, mine is going to be at the beach remember? So it will have to be a "relaxing" wedding. ;)
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Happy New Year! Now let's get Married!

Happy New Year! :)

I hope this 2011 brings us joy, peace and happiness!

And by the way, another big theme for NY Spender in 2011 will be "wedding".  ;)

I've actually kept the secret from you because I wasn't ready to plan for the wedding yet, but he actually proposed last year for Valentine's Day!

Well, now I'm ready (the new year is always invigorating!) and I would like to have the wedding this summer by the beach, other than that, it's all up in the air.

If anybody has been through it recently, please feel free to throw pieces of advice my way.

Let the madness begin!  ;)
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